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Babylon Bee is the definitive source of fake news you can trust.
- 1,701articles · 365d
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- Sep 13, 2025earliest in window
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- 175avg words
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News
Girl Scouts To Award Muslim Badge To Any Girl Who Gets Married Before Age 8
2+ week, 3+ day ago (33+ words) U.S. — The Girl Scouts of America, in cooperation with the Islamic Center of America in Dearborn, MI, unveiled a new Muslim badge girls could earn by getting married before the age of 8....
Apocalypse Draws Near As Last Remaining Universally Beloved Human Being Passes Away
2+ week, 4+ day ago (0+ words) ...
Young-Earth Creationist Has No Explanation For Fact That Nancy Pelosi Is 12,000 Years Old
3+ week, 3+ day ago (162+ words) PETERSBURG, KY — A local young-earth creationist is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after realizing he has no explanation for the fact that Nancy Pelosi is 12,000 years old. Thomas Paley, who is a firm believer that God created the Earth…...
Aw, Nice: Someone Just Shouted 'God Is the Greatest!' In Arabic, So Something Really Good Must Be Happening
1+ mon, 2+ week ago (33+ words) WORLD — Across the globe this past weekend, dozens of people had the great fortune to hear someone shouting "God is the greatest!" in Arabic, a sure sign that something really good was happening....
Israelite Keeping Quiet That He Doesn't Particularly Care For Milk Or Honey
2+ mon, 2+ week ago (47+ words) MOUNT SINAI — In light of continued encouragement that the Israelites would enter a land "flowing with milk and honey," one local Reubenite, later identified as Dathan son of Eliab, decided he should probably keep quiet about the fact that he…...
Scholars Now Believe The Angel Saved Daniel By Distracting Lions With A Laser Pointer
2+ mon, 4+ week ago (205+ words) U.S. - Leading scholars believe that the angel who saved Daniel in the lion's den used a red laser pointer to distract the vicious cats. The hungry lions could not help but chase the uncatchable red dot, distracting them throughout the night…...
Scholars Believe John Was Known As 'The Baptist' To Differentiate Himself From 'John The Presbyterian"
3+ mon, 3+ week ago (216+ words) CAMBRIDGE — Scholars at Cambridge University now believe the biblical John the Baptist only went by that name to distinguish himself from other prominent Johns of the period, particularly John the Presbyterian. An ancient scroll dating back to the first century…...
Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue
4+ mon, 1+ day ago (30+ words) MIAMI, FL — A newly christened golden statue of President Donald Trump may have healing powers, as sources confirmed a woman who had touched it was miraculously healed of her liberalism....
Theologians Now Believe Everyone Gets Their Own G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier In Heaven
4+ mon, 5+ day ago (221+ words) CAMBRIDGE — A paper published by professors at the University of Cambridge affirmed a long-speculated theory about Heaven, that everyone gets their own G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier toy. Theologians Dr. Thomas Berry and Dr. Arthur Channels argued in their 40-page report…...
Online Battle Erupts Between Holiest Man In The World And Pope Leo XIV
4+ mon, 3+ week ago (263+ words) U.S — A battle between the holiest man in the world and Pope Leo XIV broke out online this week, with many claiming the Pope crossed a line when he criticized the most righteous man ever to walk on earth. The…...