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Babylon Bee is the definitive source of fake news you can trust.
- 1,701articles · 365d
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- Sep 13, 2025earliest in window
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- 175avg words
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News
Young-Earth Creationist Has No Explanation For Fact That Nancy Pelosi Is 12,000 Years Old
3+ week, 3+ day ago (162+ words) PETERSBURG, KY — A local young-earth creationist is reportedly suffering a crisis of faith after realizing he has no explanation for the fact that Nancy Pelosi is 12,000 years old. Thomas Paley, who is a firm believer that God created the Earth…...
Uh Oh! A Monkey Stole The Pope Hat And Now He's Infallible
2+ mon, 2+ week ago (31+ words) VATICAN CITY — In disastrous news for the Catholic Church, a mischievous little monkey stole Pope Leo's hat and placed it on his own head, giving the monkey the power of infallibility....
Scholars Now Believe The Angel Saved Daniel By Distracting Lions With A Laser Pointer
2+ mon, 4+ week ago (205+ words) U.S. - Leading scholars believe that the angel who saved Daniel in the lion's den used a red laser pointer to distract the vicious cats. The hungry lions could not help but chase the uncatchable red dot, distracting them throughout the night…...
Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue
4+ mon, 1+ day ago (30+ words) MIAMI, FL — A newly christened golden statue of President Donald Trump may have healing powers, as sources confirmed a woman who had touched it was miraculously healed of her liberalism....
Theologians Now Believe Everyone Gets Their Own G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier In Heaven
4+ mon, 5+ day ago (221+ words) CAMBRIDGE — A paper published by professors at the University of Cambridge affirmed a long-speculated theory about Heaven, that everyone gets their own G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier toy. Theologians Dr. Thomas Berry and Dr. Arthur Channels argued in their 40-page report…...
Man Regrets Spending 15 Minutes Reading Bible This Morning
4+ mon, 1+ week ago (18+ words) JACKSONVILLE, FL — Local man Trevor Riggs announced that he regretted spending 15 minutes reading the Bible this morning....
Revealed: 10 Other Things That Satan Tempted Jesus With
4+ mon, 3+ week ago (339+ words) While Satan famously tempted our Lord to turn stones into bread or become an earthly king, Lucifer had other tricks up his sleeve. Here are ten more things Satan tempted Jesus with that didn't quite make it into the Biblical…...
Online Battle Erupts Between Holiest Man In The World And Pope Leo XIV
4+ mon, 3+ week ago (263+ words) U.S — A battle between the holiest man in the world and Pope Leo XIV broke out online this week, with many claiming the Pope crossed a line when he criticized the most righteous man ever to walk on earth. The…...
Tucker Claims Muslims Love Jesus So Much They Help His Followers Meet Him
4+ mon, 4+ week ago (236+ words) U.S. — According to podcast host and self-professed theologian Tucker Carlson, Muslims aren't anti-Christian. In fact, they love Jesus so much that they want to help His followers meet Him as soon as possible. "They love Jesus more than anyone else!" Carson…...
David French Praises Satan As 'Most Christian Person In History' | Babylon Bee
6+ mon, 3+ day ago (166+ words) CHICAGO, IL — Political commentator and columnist for The New York Times David French praised Satan on Monday, calling the great red dragon the most Christian person in history. "Everything Satan does, for better or worse, is predicated upon Christian ideals....